I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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