Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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