Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He kissed a someone with a penis
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
