We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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