Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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