Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
