Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Vodka?
Forever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize