Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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