Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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