I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize