with your own penis?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
