You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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