i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize