tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
