First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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