you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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