Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
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I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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