I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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