so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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