put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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