i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ttyl tear gas
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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