hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
