Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
