My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
