had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
