i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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