On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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