help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
