We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When are your genitals available?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
