arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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