hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
