Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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