Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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