it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
