dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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