am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What a dumb baby whore.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
