Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
