I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize