I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just want to make out with him forever
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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