i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
