Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
