her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
