why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
