Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
