you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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