remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
