seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I love you.
Bad choice
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
