you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
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Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize