It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
