Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
