I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
