moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
