i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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