how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
