Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
