So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
