All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just invented taco cereal.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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