there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize