I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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