Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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