Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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