she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
