Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
