Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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