So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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