Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize