forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
