well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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