My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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