I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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