Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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