8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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