I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
